Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in ripebanana's LiveJournal:

Friday, April 22nd, 2005
2:33 pm	I TRULY DISLIKE BOYS RIGHT NOW...AND MATH :( LUCKILY IT IS FRIDAY (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 26th, 2005
2:32 pm	TWISTING CONFUSIONS OF OPEN SPACE I really dont understand it..I really cannot comprehend my feelings towards the "herbals"...There is no reason as to why it should bother me to the extent that it does. I do not hate weed, nor do I think that people who smoke are bad people at all..But I dont understand why I cant differenciate between liking, accepting it and hating it. AND why in the world of all things does it confuse me the most when it comes to him. Perhaps it's that LOVE thing...but I love my friends to death as well and they smoke quite large amounts...when really...he isnt smoking that much at all..and when he was completly "straight edge" my first thought was BS and my second was hmm thats boring...BORING??? what the fuck thats basically all I really seemed to want deep down for a year or so... I suppose it could just be that the grass is always greener on the otherside...but really its because when there was no GRASS...everything in my relationship really did seem GREENER!!!!! LOL..(wow that was lame) but its sooo true..Perhaps it really is just the hipocracy of it all, but truly everyone should be able to smoke, or kick it or, drink orange juice ALL day...whenever they want to..and I of all people should NOT have a problem with that! Maybe its because im just not feeling myself latley, that perhaps im TRYING to occupy my time with this and school..but really I know there is no way I want to breakup with him...oh man oh man..and things are the way we percieve them...but then WHY can I control the way I want to see this situation...or even begin to understand it? and FUCK LONG DISTANCE. (Comment on this)
Friday, February 18th, 2005
12:44 pm	So sick of the druuugs I just watched Garden State last night, sat around and drank celestial seasonings tea, and realized how so much of my friends lives are being numbed out by pain killers, changing them into people we/I dont even know. It makes me so sad.. Why must people numb all this pain with so much rage. Slowly twisting and turning into one Psychological worm hole. The only problem soon becomes lost in all the problems and self serving prohpecys.. Yes its true, the more we think you are crazy.. the crazier you will become. Arent we all a little crazy at times? How can people even know how they truly feel on a mix of drugs, drugs and more drugs? Making you feel "better" yet seeming to lose sense with all reality. Where is the truth in figuring out these things that most likley could be fixed by he brain. The brain so powerful, that seems easily undermined with drugs. Drowns in depressed minds of us all who are living wonderful, unimaginable lives, yet feel seem to feel bored and dull. Drugs in which money could be spent else where, the thoughts of suicide could be fixed and not buried in a complete zone of intense emotions further supressing them because we are told thata drugs make those feelings "go away". In reality only hides them. If we are taught that confrontation is a good thing, then why are Psychitrist missing that? It is only then we can tackle our problems. Maybe if we all were ready to open out eyes, and to feel possibly one of the hardest things in our lives, no matter what they be. Confront things in a sober mind, even if sober isnt sober by definition, then only then maybe wel will begin to feel ourselves again. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 8th, 2005
11:24 am	REALLY NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING BACK TO SCHOOL- (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 7th, 2005
5:05 pm	Im beginging to think the only way that people begin to see change is when really they have changed themselves. Im beginging to realize you cant miss boulder or even know if you ever will until you are gone. But mostly that my true friends really still are my true friends and all this change stuff that people keep talking about is only a perception of negative-ness that its seems some of us are just dying to see. But really things havent changed all THAT much- weve just added more people to our lives and perhaps those we knoew we would loose are all inevitable anyways... (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 11th, 2004
12:02 pm	I LOVE BEING HOME...AND ALL MY FRIENDS ARENT EVEN BACK YET..AND STIL THIS IS AWESOME! WINTER BREAK WILL BE WONDERFUL :) (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 2nd, 2004
11:50 pm	I miss my life..I miss feeling comorted by people..and actually really truly believing that they do care...or most the time at least...I hate feeling like im going to get MY LIFE back...but then its going to be gone within a month..this isnt the life i want to be living.. I dont want to hate night time anymore..but then again I am sick of being bored in the daytime and hating that as well..I dont want to bitch about seemingly non important things anymore like the smell of cow shit, or how im bored all the time, becacuse its al pointless and nothing comes out of it. I just want to feel truly and REALLY fulfilled..and not only act like it....real fulfillment is like a figment of my imagination these days and it is rare that I can find true happiness.....I dont miss the drama, the stupid little bullshit things i used to worry aobut..I dont have any of that now..and yes..that is wonderful...but then again i have realized how much hapiness and amazing people surrounded me and yet..I took it ALL for granted...and want it back more then ever now..for longer periods then a month at a time... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004
2:14 pm	:) days THE DAYS IVE BEEN WAITING FOR ARE ALMOST HERE!!!! TO BE WITH THE PEOPLE I REALLY LOVE! MAN...CANT WAIT! THANKSGIVING, CHRISTMAS, AND NEW YEARS!!! NEVER LOOKED FORWARD TO THESE HOLIDAYS THEN I AM NOW!ALSO-CAITLIN NOBODY LIFE SHOULD BE LIVED ON THIS LIVE JOURNAL SHIT...YES ITS COOL..BUT I AGREE WITH YOU REALITY IS MORE WORTH YOUR TIME! XOXOX TO ALL! :) BANANA (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 4th, 2004
8:18 pm	disgusted I AM DISGUSTED AND EXTREMELY DISSAPPOINTED WITH THIS COUNTRY. WHO THE FUCK RE-ELECTS BUSH? OH WAIT A COUNTRY LIKE OURS THAT IS FULL OF IDIOTS.. WELL FUCK... Current Mood: frustrated (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 27th, 2004
1:29 pm	ekkkkk CURRENTLY FREAKOUT BY OLDER MEN....YIKES....WHY CANT THINGS STAY ON A FRIENDLY LEVEL?? IM STAYING AWAY..NATE WATCH YOU..YOUVE GOT A 45 YOUR OLD MAN WHO IS "VERY VERY ENVIOUS OF YOU" WHAT THE FUCK....WE ONLY CONNECTED CUZ WE BOTH HATE GREELEY...NON OF THAT OTHER SHIT..PLEEASSE...IVE GOT TO FIND SOME DUCK TAPE...MAYBE I REALY SHOULDNT TALK TO STRANGERS..UGH (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 21st, 2004
10:01 pm	I WILL GO TO A SCHOOL THAT HAS A FACEBOOK. THAT IT MY GOAL. IM GETTING OUTTA HERE! Current Mood: busy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 29th, 2004
2:37 pm	COLLEGE I JUST WANT THINGS TO BE BACK TO NORMAL....I WANT TO BE HOME AND EVERYONE TO BE HOME WITH ME..THINGS ARE JUST GOING IN PHASES... I HATE PHASES...HOPE EVEREYONE IS WELL (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 28th, 2004
10:00 pm	I have broken down.. I have broken down... I cant believe it. After reading these journals for months and deciding I would never have one of my own...I have failed. Caitlin this one's for you. Due to the fact that I have been reading on people's lives for months..and the scariest part about these things..YOUD NEVER KNOW! So I figured I may as well add my own entries to this daily addiction to checking up on these live journal entries. Perhaps Haley will be reading this wondering what has gotten into me!! We'll see how long this lasts.. Perhaps its just because despite the fact im an open person, id like to know who im being open with!! Oh well...LIVE Journal world..here I come.. Current Mood: surprised (Comment on this)